The advice being pedaled by so many coaches and consultants right across the planet right now is so far off the mark that it’s damaging rather than helping the very people it’s aimed for.
Although it’s (hopefully) not deliberate, it is a hoax.
Being positive and happy is fine right? Sure.
What about when we feel the opposite, isn’t that bad then, just like some of the self-help ‘gurus’ tell us in their books and seminars.
No it is not ‘bad’ – it is also fine.
Well books have been written on this and another one could be written here but seeing as this is an email I will keep it short.
Feeling down or sad has a purpose.
The most ‘positive’ thing you could do for yourself is to recognise this, and instead of getting wrapped up in the ego mind, thinking, “I don’t deserve this” or “I’m not supposed to feel sad” and subsequently feeling worse; what if you just considered that if something exists inside you then there is a reason for it, a meaning.
For example, if you are working in a job you hate, or spending time with people you despise, or beating yourself up, or running an unsuccessful business, consider the following:
Why are you in a job you hate?
Why are you spending time with people that you don’t like?
Why are you beating yourself up?
Why are you running an unsuccessful business?
What if these were messages from a part of yourself that actually knows what work you are here to do, that part of yourself that wants you to be with people who are respecting you.
Could there be a part of you screaming for attention and recognition, and so maybe you beat yourself up to somehow create a way of bringing all of this into your awareness so that you can actually do something about it, and finally go and become the person you are meant to be?
Could your business be temporarily unsuccessful because it needs you to address something inside yourself or inside the business that you have been avoiding?
There is a purpose for these things, otherwise they would not exist, and instead of adopting the school of positive thinking approach that often says,
… “well if I say these positive things over and over and over then I’ll be fine” couldn’t you instead just ask better questions?
Know this – in so far as you disown any part of yourself or how you are feeling, it will manifest itself in other ways around you until you give it (and so yourself) the appreciation and care that it (and you) require and deserve.
This applies equally to your business.
If you have a purpose in life (and you do), and if you have a life that you secretly want to live and you know it is right for you, yet ignore it or supress it because of a lack of confidence or some programming where society says you should be doing something else, then surely you would be thankful that a part of yourself is attracting attention to that fact, and letting you know that a part of you is being ignored.
Own that part and yourself, and nourish it no matter what, it’s trying to tell you something.
Furthermore, if you are not resisting it and trying in vain to be positive, it will only exacerbate the problem. Non-resistance breeds acceptance. Acceptance breeds self-confidence.
Everything is in balance in the world and everything has a purpose; why would feeling ‘sad’ or ‘negative’ be any different. Find the purpose for it. And at the very least accept it and yourself.
Know that everything that happens inside you has a purpose. Accept it.
Find the purpose for why you are feeling the way you are and take action to address it.
When you feel the emotion or the confusion, embrace it and ask “for what purpose it is there?”
You would do that in a business wouldn’t you?
If something was not quite right in a business or with a project, you would address it instead of ignoring it – I hope!!
Simply do the same with yourself and be thankful that it came into your awareness, because now you are the one with the power.
When these feelings surface be thankful because it means you’re finally ready to handle it.
It’s like the teacher that appears when the student is ready.
That’s the ‘positive’ aspect to it and I appreciate that that’s also an irony in that when compared to the opening comments!
Everything has balance and every challenge has within it the seed for the solution; just as every solution has within it the seed for your next challenge.
That’s what growth is, and it continues, so embrace it, own yourself and grow.
Your career and your business will follow.
And finally, be aware of the HOAX that ‘positive thinking’ is.
Instead, just be accepting and then move on.
To your continued success and happiness,