Change – the only constant and the most feared!
People consistently have problems with making changes, even though it is the only thing in life that is permanent. What is the point resisting something that is going to happen anyway? In truth, change is often messy and for a business owner or organisational leader, or in your own personal life, the confusion and mixed emotions that accompany change can be overwhelming and stir up an array of fears and limited ways of thinking.
Most people are familiar with limiting patterns either from memory or through current experience; this includes disempowering personal habits or maybe habitual and problematic business practices. People often feel that they’re successful in measurable terms by society’s standards but inside they feel low.
For example, maybe you know there’s more for you but are unsure how to get it; maybe you’re feeling uninspired and really want to change that. Maybe a boss is enforcing some changes and you have to play a game that is not you, or maybe it is you but you are fearful. Maybe you are the boss and are scared. Maybe you have a new position somewhere and are not sure how to handle it.
Whatever it is, we all have something that we want to be able to change, or change we want to be able to handle; we are often ready to do so, if only we would allow ourselves to do it.
Maybe you want to make a difference for yourself, for your family, for the community, the world. Maybe you want to finally have more self-respect and self-belief, and achieve the life you know you deserve, the one you dream of living. Maybe you want more money, to be wealthy.
The truth is there is only one constant in life, and that is change. It is only the impermanence of everything that is permanent. What a pity it is then that some of the greatest challenges that people are faced with and have the most difficulty with in life, is coping with change, or worse, resisting it altogether.
Irrespective of whether we’re talking about making a change in a person’s own life or whether it’s adjusting to some sort of external circumstance; it is the confusion, the stubbornness, the pain and the fear caused by even a hint of change that has resulted in many unfulfilled lives, broken businesses and unlived dreams.
Now, more than ever, in our increasingly changing world, this needs to be dealt with, and dealt with successfully.
It needs to be dealt with so that where once it was feared, it is now embraced.
Old institutions are changing and doing so at an exponential rate, how we do business is transforming and knowledge is now freely available.
Imagine living in a rain forest and living in fear that it might rain, or going on safari to Africa and complaining all the time that there is too much hot sun. Change is as much a part of your life and workplace as the hot sun is a part of Africa. Change is everywhere and it is the critical and unavoidable part of any journey to transformation in any area of life, relationships or business. Why get so attached to everything when it just changes anyway?
Isn’t it possible, even probable, that change could be the greatest remedy in the world? Change is the leap from making a wish, to having your dream fulfilled, and contrary to any notions put forward in the popular media – Real change is always internal.
This is why in our coaching and consulting we always work with people first; everything begins here.
This is also the reason why we have people who are not only trained trainers and master coaches, but also have a track record of tangible results, in facilitating complete turnarounds and real elevation in people’s personal and business worlds. When the internal shift is powerful, inspiration, desire and enhanced performance always follows.
True change is not about going from one place to another, from one job to another, or from one relationship to another. Change is not real unless it results in a change of mind, or a renewal of mind, and this renewal is where your internal power is generated.
What about work?
People these days are continuously asking questions of themselves; what about your career, your business – could they be better? Are you even in the right one? Many people even hide from change by giving up only to say “oh that wasn’t me anyway” and then they go find plenty of friends and family to back this up afterwards, with the “what were you thinking?!” line, or “that was never you anyway”. Believe it when I say that this is a serious mistake.
Only you know who you are; only you know what’s going on deep down. Does anyone else ever hear that secret voice? You could never begin to articulate the depth of who you are to another in words and you never really have to answer to anybody else anyway.
The reality is that any change sought out by people, whether in business or personally is initially and most often because of dissatisfaction somewhere else in their life, whether personal, or work related.
If this pain is great enough then a real effort for change is often made. When the pain subsides however, the old pattern often reoccurs… maybe this sounds familiar.
As the pace of living increases exponentially and technology begins to hint at possibilities that seemed incredible only 10 years ago, there is anxiety in the world as people honestly ask themselves what will it be like next year if I don’t make the changes I know I need to make? How will things look 5 years from now? How will you feel in 10 years if I continue to ignore what I know needs to be done? How about when I reach old age and find I lived someone else’s dream and not my own?
Think about the other lives that you might negatively impact by not taking action now. Do you want to wait that long and in the meantime waste your energy, time and money, maybe lose what’s important and probably have reduced performance, self-esteem, health and wellbeing in the process?
Mark Twain said it well when he wrote:
“twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”
In our first meetings with our clients we provide a clear appreciation of how people create their worlds and the fears and beliefs that go on to shape them; we clarify the patterns that may have sabotaged change or new ideas in the past and hold you back in the future, and as our clients from that point onwards begin to become aware of what is really driving them in every situation, their internal power begins to reinstate itself. This applies to our millennial entrepreneur clients as well as to our seasoned CEO clients.
Most people think they know this already; in reality unfortunately, most people don’t. Our work with clients goes way beyond the intellectual appreciation and understanding of old limitations – they have successfully dealt with them and have already managed to successfully make the changes they wanted to make.
So, maybe you’re already very successful. Maybe you are admired by many. Or maybe you are feared by many. Maybe you are measuring your success by yardsticks that society has approved of, and that might be ok for you, or, could it be causing deeper troubles. Whatever the reason, only you know.
If you are successful in the eyes of society, while at the same time feeling very unhappy in your own personal time or personal life, then maybe it’s now time to address that. We will equip you to live and lead through the paradoxes of life and business.
3 primary focus points for our clients at the personal level are:
- #1 That your desired outcome fits with your personal model of the world (ensuring you are going for your dream and not someone else’s)
- #2 That there are no conflicts inside (in other words we bring you to a congruent state internally)
- #3 Your successful outcome is achieved (you get what you came here for at minimum, and measurably)
Many people have yet to acknowledge that our personal lives, business lives, careers, wealth, health, wellbeing, hobbies, friends, mind-set, spirit, physical and mental fitness levels are all interconnected. Some people believe that there are separations among these. The only separations among these are those that we create in our own minds; in reality they are all linked, and in many different ways on many different levels.
These include the constant unconscious messages that we send to ourselves about what is important….. our energy and time trade-offs, our ego versus our innermost conscience, our ability to be who we are and to live our best lives versus our concern for how we are perceived, our fear of looking bad in front of our peers, our attitudes, values, beliefs, and so on….
The fear of looking bad in front of others is a fear so deep and unconscious in many people that it chokes the life out of many dreams.
Do you think that anything of great significance that happened in our world was the action of people who were worried what others thought of them?
Do you think that big minds are concerned with small or big things?
It is your responsibility to step up and become who you are; live the life you want and change what you want to change. The alternative in the long run is far worse than looking bad in front of others – it is being untrue to yourself and ultimately knowing that you lied to yourself.
When you reach a point of embracing the change that you want and knowing that you are on the right path, it’s a point of no return. It is real freedom. And real freedom is only internal, so chasing it externally is pointless.
The great humanitarian, Albert Einstein passed on real wisdom when he said that “once a mind has been stretched to a new level, it never returns to its original shape”
Once you have made your great changes and living them, you might well find that other people will want to be like you too, so you are also in effect inspiring them to live on a higher level. That’s what real leadership is, and every leader you look at has first of all led themselves before leading others.
Leaders go first.
This is the point of no return; it is such a revelation to people once they step up and lead that their only desire is to keep going – you are inspired and you get momentum; you thrive and you prosper.
Our wish for everyone we work with personally and in business, is for you to step up and become who you know you are, be the best you can be. Look past the obstacles, focus there and then move. Something that helps many of our clients also is to begin by having a vision beyond the dream that you are dreaming now….. by having a vision that goes beyond the dream, you are setting yourself up to achieve the dream.
This is the same whether talking about your business, your job at work, your relationships or anything significant in your life. Remember, they’re all linked and they’re all achieved by the same higher level of thinking and action. Make your life so great that you jump out of bed every morning rearing to go! Make your business so awesome that you feel magic every day! These are achievable realities. Many people live like this all the time, and they are all made of the same stuff as you, and they all have the same resources as you.
What’s the difference? Mind-set.
Mind-set, and the desire and ability to tap resources as required. During our coaching, consulting and training programs you will learn how to do this, consciously and more significantly, unconsciously and automatically. Then you will put it into action, until you just know it’s yours, to the point that you don’t even think about it anymore.
A dream or goal built with deep fear in its fabric will be ineffective compared to one built out of courage and sheer inspiration in the desire to move towards something. In our trainings, consulting and coaching for change, you will let go of the fearful elements of your old decision making processes and step into a new way of life, where your outcomes are now within reach. You will be empowered with the tools to get there and you will have a master coach working with you, whose focus is to ensure the accomplishment of your dreams and vision.
It’s impossible to lead someone when you are unable to lead yourself. Maybe you can manage things ok, you can manage people and projects and general things in the environment around you, but that’s not always enough. You must lead yourself internally.
Set your boundaries, respect them, live congruently, let go of the fears, be great to yourself; be great to everyone else. When you are at peace inside, the desire to prove yourself to everybody you meet disappears, and when this happens you become a real leader. When you know deep down inside that your first responsibility is to yourself, everything becomes so much easier and effortless.
If you’re reading this and thinking I can’t do this, well the question to then ask is, what else did you believe was impossible in the past, but now you know it to be possible? Can you think of something? The world is teeming with people who have risen above previous so called limitations and transformed their lives, businesses and relationships beyond their wildest expectations, and now live life on their own terms.
Our responsibility as a specialist professionals for coaching and training in both the personal and business realms is to facilitate you in achieving your outcomes. Not only that, but to ensure that your outcomes are congruent for you and so desirable for you that you will get them. When you work with us you are working with a confidante and partner, in an environment of trust where we want you to succeed. We play at 100% for you, and we expect you to give 100% for yourself, given it’s your outcomes we are going to achieve. When we both put 100% into this relationship, you transform that which you came here to do. Our clients consistently do this.
As mentioned at the outset, the only constant in life is change. Imagine the problems many people face when their main resistance in life is the fear of that (change). It is the major challenge people are faced with today, and it is the one that many have the most difficulty with. If you’re reading this then you are very likely ready to make some significant change, and the greatest skill you can have is to be able to lead change in yourself and others.
What we are most proud of here is that we facilitate you to do things you didn’t think possible – this means that you can continue to make great changes long after our coaching relationship has run its course. We have been through plenty of personal and business experiences, and dealt with our own challenges and changes; in many cases we have already travelled the road you might find yourself on.
Many people believe they will find happiness when they have the job they want, or the life they want, or when they retire at 65. Has it ever occurred to you that if you learn to make the internal changes necessary for any so-called happiness to really happen, then all the other things, the job you want or life you want, will have to happen anyway, and sooner? Couldn’t happiness be a choice?
What if, instead of chasing happiness at some future point by trading in future ideas and retirement plans, you instead became so involved in living and doing what you love here and now? What could happen in a scenario like that? Couldn’t happiness be instantaneous for the one who just enjoyed living now?
It’s the internal change that drives real happiness and that kind of state facilitates success. Leave it to the external world and you may well have to wait until 65 for happiness, and even then it’s not guaranteed – in fact it might be harder because by then there are so many habits built in and habitual ways of thinking running your mental state that you might feel even more unhappy!
The changes that you need to make are possible now; know this, and then do it.
Take action and if when you decide to give us a try or want to talk to any of our happy clients, we can arrange a no-obligation-free chat or whatever would be suitable. We very much look forward to serving you and being part of yet another great success story, your one.
What’s in it for us? We get to experience the deep satisfaction that comes with changing lives, businesses and relationships for the better everyday; we get to make a living doing what we love. We know that the power is in your hands, know it and use it.
Remember, “success is not the key to happiness; happiness is the key to success”. Albert Schweitzer.
If you would like to have a conversation about anything written here or even just to find out how we can help you, call us on +61 2 9238 6317 or just email us here and we will get back to you no more than 2 business days later. Be sure to leave a preferred time for us to contact you also if this is important.